IC Inbox

[summertimeblues]

Shit there's video calling now?





((content warning for aspic, please avert your eyes all ye who enter here))

Comments

[vorrutyer]

You are not!

[summertimeblues]

alas, if only that were true

[he starts pulling up the network now. Surely this joker posted somewhere else....]

[vorrutyer]

My poor poor prince. I'd give anything to make you all better.

[ Oh, he has. Extensively. ]

Congrats on comment 100 nerd

[summertimeblues]

[....this fucker.]

Tell your mother to kiss with less teeth next time.

I'm so pleased to bring you into the triple digits

[vorrutyer]

[ Heh heh. ]

Can you pass along the same message to yours? My foreskin looks like a badger's been at it.

And on such a plot important thread......

[summertimeblues]

if your dick looked less like a broccoli stalk this wouldn't have happened.

What do you want byerly

These two are all business

[vorrutyer]

For you to stop stealing looks at my cock, to begin with.

Put them on the 2020 democratic ballot, by for pres and rich for veep

[summertimeblues]

it's impossible to look away from. Much like a car crash.

aw it's nice that you're volunteering richie for bottoming....the ballot

[vorrutyer]

Ah, so that burning sensation was fire all along?

LISTEN..................................

[summertimeblues]

bring that to a medic before your balls toast up like salty marshmallows

[vorrutyer]

My, my, what a vivid metaphor. It's true - my balls are sweet and pillowy.

[summertimeblues]

puffy balls and a broccoli dick

You must really clean up at closing time

[vorrutyer]

These past months of prostitution truly have taken their toll. I don't suppose you're interested in saving me from my life of sin? You seem like the sort of man who'd connect exceedingly deeply with the works of Fyodor Dostoevsky.

[ sick burn. ]

[summertimeblues]

[fyodor????

Whatever he's probably a depressed writer with books about sad sisters in the war or some shit]

if i tossed you a dollar would you find a better way to waste your time

[vorrutyer]

Dearest Richmond. My poor creature. Do you really think so lowly of yourself? You're a grand way to waste my time. Talking to you does marvels for my self-esteem.

[summertimeblues]

chumming around your betters will do that, it's true

Are the rest of your booty calls down with the syph

[vorrutyer]

Ooh, haven't heard that one before. Syph?

[summertimeblues]

starts out as a rash, comes back years later as deformities and sometimes dementia. Sometimes your nose falls off.

did they not teach you how sex can kill on barrayar or however you spell it

[vorrutyer]

Oh, how quaint! Venereal diseases still exist in your day? Good heavens. Don't tell me, you lost your parents to the Black Death? Or influenza? What barbarians you all are.

[summertimeblues]

And yet your home is the one that plays like it's cutthroat alley at Pirates of the Caribbean. What really makes a barbarian?

cancer, actually. Did yours get shanked for cheating at dice, or was it choking on a wild hog drumstick

[vorrutyer]

Still alive, more's the pity. Well, in a manner of speaking. Mamere was catatonic even before the deep-freeze cryostasis she's in now. Poor little poppet, she did have a tough go - all those days forced to wake up and sometimes even get dressed when gravity is so very heavy. I expect she's actually quite happy now. How old were you?

[summertimeblues]

[What the fuck is he supposed to do with that? Sucks about your mom but you're still an asshole, so you'll get no outward sympathy.]

25 for dad and 27 for mom, thanks for asking

when did your mom dip out of reality

[vorrutyer]

Dear heavens, who can even remember? Before I lost my virginity but after cousin Richars broke my fingers. But what bad luck you have. Two years apart. I can't even imagine - assuming you were fond of your parents, that is. Perhaps you celebrated it. I certainly won't judge if that's the case.

[summertimeblues]

jesus christ i didn't celebrate, what the fuck is wrong with you

why'd your cousin break your fingers, please describe in immaculate detail since we're apparently writing each other's biographies

[vorrutyer]

Because cousin Richars enjoyed others' pain? And I'd be glad if a disease struck down my father. I know a dozen people who'd be delighted to see their parents go. It's nice you had a good relationship with yours, though. Perhaps that's that certain Terran je ne sais quoi, the little something you get in return for all having rotting cocks. True love.