IC Inbox

[summertimeblues]

Shit there's video calling now?





((content warning for aspic, please avert your eyes all ye who enter here))

Comments

[vorrutyer]

Dearest Richmond. My poor creature. Do you really think so lowly of yourself? You're a grand way to waste my time. Talking to you does marvels for my self-esteem.

[summertimeblues]

chumming around your betters will do that, it's true

Are the rest of your booty calls down with the syph

[vorrutyer]

Ooh, haven't heard that one before. Syph?

[summertimeblues]

starts out as a rash, comes back years later as deformities and sometimes dementia. Sometimes your nose falls off.

did they not teach you how sex can kill on barrayar or however you spell it

[vorrutyer]

Oh, how quaint! Venereal diseases still exist in your day? Good heavens. Don't tell me, you lost your parents to the Black Death? Or influenza? What barbarians you all are.

[summertimeblues]

And yet your home is the one that plays like it's cutthroat alley at Pirates of the Caribbean. What really makes a barbarian?

cancer, actually. Did yours get shanked for cheating at dice, or was it choking on a wild hog drumstick

[vorrutyer]

Still alive, more's the pity. Well, in a manner of speaking. Mamere was catatonic even before the deep-freeze cryostasis she's in now. Poor little poppet, she did have a tough go - all those days forced to wake up and sometimes even get dressed when gravity is so very heavy. I expect she's actually quite happy now. How old were you?

[summertimeblues]

[What the fuck is he supposed to do with that? Sucks about your mom but you're still an asshole, so you'll get no outward sympathy.]

25 for dad and 27 for mom, thanks for asking

when did your mom dip out of reality

[vorrutyer]

Dear heavens, who can even remember? Before I lost my virginity but after cousin Richars broke my fingers. But what bad luck you have. Two years apart. I can't even imagine - assuming you were fond of your parents, that is. Perhaps you celebrated it. I certainly won't judge if that's the case.

[summertimeblues]

jesus christ i didn't celebrate, what the fuck is wrong with you

why'd your cousin break your fingers, please describe in immaculate detail since we're apparently writing each other's biographies

[vorrutyer]

Because cousin Richars enjoyed others' pain? And I'd be glad if a disease struck down my father. I know a dozen people who'd be delighted to see their parents go. It's nice you had a good relationship with yours, though. Perhaps that's that certain Terran je ne sais quoi, the little something you get in return for all having rotting cocks. True love.

[summertimeblues]

sounds like a right piece of shit. he didn't come with you did he?

oh i believe that, trust me, but that's a stretch to go assuming off the bat. Is bile and bruises the go-to parenting standard for your folk, in that case? Dicks get to fly willy nilly but so do the knuckles?

cw abuse and all that I suppose, these two really shouldn't be allowed to talk

[vorrutyer]

Frozen with the rest. May he lie there forever.

[ The conversation has taken a turn Byerly doesn't enjoy. Which is foolish, because he'd introduced the conversational gambit that had led to this place. But he doesn't really know how to free himself from it without revealing that he doesn't like it, which would give Richie some measure of understanding of his emotions and weaknesses, which is far worse than putting up with a bit of unpleasantness. ]

And it does depend upon the family. Barrayar has a long and proud tradition of infanticide, and I've known of parents who tried it a bit late in the game, sure. Of course, my crowd isn't entirely representative of the Vor population as a whole. I'm sure there are some out there who managed to please their families; they simply don't associate with my band of miscreants.

sets fire to this cr and salts the earth, this is a cursed land......

[summertimeblues]

[Ah. Fuck.

This has also gotten pretty intense for Rich, who is on the receiving end of a far more candid exposé than he'd bargained for. How did this move so far from shit talk? Byerly's offering this up pretty easy, and maybe he thinks along the same lines as Gamora when it came to death and tragedy. Maybe he doesn't. He was pretty quick to drip venom after the kiss went awry, and no amount of barbed words could disguise the face that that came from a real hurt.

Not that meditating on any of this was giving him insight on what to say.

There is a small pause between replies.]

my condolences.

this is how you want to spend your afternoon? spilling history to people you don't like?

flees from it

[vorrutyer]

[ The answer comes quickly and rather sharply. ]

And my condolences for your foul breath. How often do you brush your teeth? Not enough, it seems. I'm really not certain what about me seems like I need condoling. Shall I get misty over your dead family? Spilling history is, to me, like spilling water - the stuff is meaningless to me. You'll know when we get to the brandy.

it pursues....

[summertimeblues]

[Oh there's the claws.]

that mustache for one

I don't think we're gonna get to the brandy, that sounds like a second date kind of deal and i'm not sure I could take you home to my dead mother

[vorrutyer]

We could always go out to a graveyard. Sure, it won't be her corpse, but once they're dead one's as good as the next, no? All just decomposing carbon/nitrogen/etc.

[summertimeblues]

how romantic. you really know how to worm into my ashy-mouthed heart.

[vorrutyer]

I've often been told I'm nothing more than a parasite. At last, it wins me approval. Do you have any old childhood bullies in stasis? We could go and visit them. And don't deny it, someone like you was absolutely bullied as a child.

[summertimeblues]

[FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

but at least he can get away with a half truth here: the clown's up in Thesa and Rich has to keep making repeat visits to see that he's staying there, but Henry Bowers?]

nope he's dead

he broke out of the funny farm and tried to carve up two of the old gang and Eds kicked him down for good

[vorrutyer]

[ Hold up. ]

Sorry, I'm just clarifying. It sounded like you said that your friend murdered a mad old bully of yours.

[summertimeblues]

because he was trying to murder us, yes. broke into the library and sliced up mike like a christmas turkey, then tried to come around the motel and knock us off in singles. lucky mike got him back just as good before he had to call in the paramedics or eds wouldn't have stood a chance.

[vorrutyer]

Really.

It seems you're less boring than I assumed you were.

[summertimeblues]

is that where we're putting the bar for being interesting

have you been involved in attempted murder

can't say things are looking peachy for your love life, you're gonna end up in a ditch if you're sticking to knifey types

[vorrutyer]

I'm Vor, Ricchio. Of course I've been involved in attempted murder.

[ Well...no. Not exactly. He's been a second at two duels, one of which ended after some negotiation and one of which ended with both parties deloping. And then there was Richars, but that was never really about ending anyone's life, as much as Byerly had been certain as a boy that Richars would be the end of him. And as for his work for Imperial Security...well. If they ever saw fit to involve him in any murders, they certainly wouldn't be attempted. Though thankfully, ImpSec had always used people who were a bit more professional when it came to dealing death. By, truthfully, gets a bit queasy at the thought of dead things - he tries not to think too hard about where his protein is coming from, here, because it certainly isn't being cloned in a nice, sanitary, murder-free protein vat like it was back home. ]

What's life without spice, after all? Sex is dull if you don't have a bit of uncertainty about your partner's intentions. And friendships, too. If you're going out with someone, it's best if you're expecting a knife in the back - makes you all tingly any time they reach over to clap you on the shoulder.