IC Inbox

[summertimeblues]

Shit there's video calling now?





((content warning for aspic, please avert your eyes all ye who enter here))

Comments

[vorrutyer]

My poor poor prince. I'd give anything to make you all better.

[ Oh, he has. Extensively. ]

Congrats on comment 100 nerd

[summertimeblues]

[....this fucker.]

Tell your mother to kiss with less teeth next time.

I'm so pleased to bring you into the triple digits

[vorrutyer]

[ Heh heh. ]

Can you pass along the same message to yours? My foreskin looks like a badger's been at it.

And on such a plot important thread......

[summertimeblues]

if your dick looked less like a broccoli stalk this wouldn't have happened.

What do you want byerly

These two are all business

[vorrutyer]

For you to stop stealing looks at my cock, to begin with.

Put them on the 2020 democratic ballot, by for pres and rich for veep

[summertimeblues]

it's impossible to look away from. Much like a car crash.

aw it's nice that you're volunteering richie for bottoming....the ballot

[vorrutyer]

Ah, so that burning sensation was fire all along?

LISTEN..................................

[summertimeblues]

bring that to a medic before your balls toast up like salty marshmallows

[vorrutyer]

My, my, what a vivid metaphor. It's true - my balls are sweet and pillowy.

[summertimeblues]

puffy balls and a broccoli dick

You must really clean up at closing time

[vorrutyer]

These past months of prostitution truly have taken their toll. I don't suppose you're interested in saving me from my life of sin? You seem like the sort of man who'd connect exceedingly deeply with the works of Fyodor Dostoevsky.

[ sick burn. ]

[summertimeblues]

[fyodor????

Whatever he's probably a depressed writer with books about sad sisters in the war or some shit]

if i tossed you a dollar would you find a better way to waste your time

[vorrutyer]

Dearest Richmond. My poor creature. Do you really think so lowly of yourself? You're a grand way to waste my time. Talking to you does marvels for my self-esteem.

[summertimeblues]

chumming around your betters will do that, it's true

Are the rest of your booty calls down with the syph

[vorrutyer]

Ooh, haven't heard that one before. Syph?

[summertimeblues]

starts out as a rash, comes back years later as deformities and sometimes dementia. Sometimes your nose falls off.

did they not teach you how sex can kill on barrayar or however you spell it

[vorrutyer]

Oh, how quaint! Venereal diseases still exist in your day? Good heavens. Don't tell me, you lost your parents to the Black Death? Or influenza? What barbarians you all are.

[summertimeblues]

And yet your home is the one that plays like it's cutthroat alley at Pirates of the Caribbean. What really makes a barbarian?

cancer, actually. Did yours get shanked for cheating at dice, or was it choking on a wild hog drumstick

[vorrutyer]

Still alive, more's the pity. Well, in a manner of speaking. Mamere was catatonic even before the deep-freeze cryostasis she's in now. Poor little poppet, she did have a tough go - all those days forced to wake up and sometimes even get dressed when gravity is so very heavy. I expect she's actually quite happy now. How old were you?

[summertimeblues]

[What the fuck is he supposed to do with that? Sucks about your mom but you're still an asshole, so you'll get no outward sympathy.]

25 for dad and 27 for mom, thanks for asking

when did your mom dip out of reality

[vorrutyer]

Dear heavens, who can even remember? Before I lost my virginity but after cousin Richars broke my fingers. But what bad luck you have. Two years apart. I can't even imagine - assuming you were fond of your parents, that is. Perhaps you celebrated it. I certainly won't judge if that's the case.

[summertimeblues]

jesus christ i didn't celebrate, what the fuck is wrong with you

why'd your cousin break your fingers, please describe in immaculate detail since we're apparently writing each other's biographies

[vorrutyer]

Because cousin Richars enjoyed others' pain? And I'd be glad if a disease struck down my father. I know a dozen people who'd be delighted to see their parents go. It's nice you had a good relationship with yours, though. Perhaps that's that certain Terran je ne sais quoi, the little something you get in return for all having rotting cocks. True love.

[summertimeblues]

sounds like a right piece of shit. he didn't come with you did he?

oh i believe that, trust me, but that's a stretch to go assuming off the bat. Is bile and bruises the go-to parenting standard for your folk, in that case? Dicks get to fly willy nilly but so do the knuckles?

cw abuse and all that I suppose, these two really shouldn't be allowed to talk

[vorrutyer]

Frozen with the rest. May he lie there forever.

[ The conversation has taken a turn Byerly doesn't enjoy. Which is foolish, because he'd introduced the conversational gambit that had led to this place. But he doesn't really know how to free himself from it without revealing that he doesn't like it, which would give Richie some measure of understanding of his emotions and weaknesses, which is far worse than putting up with a bit of unpleasantness. ]

And it does depend upon the family. Barrayar has a long and proud tradition of infanticide, and I've known of parents who tried it a bit late in the game, sure. Of course, my crowd isn't entirely representative of the Vor population as a whole. I'm sure there are some out there who managed to please their families; they simply don't associate with my band of miscreants.